We made it through week three. This week got a little easier but we still had a lot of ups and downs. I started journaling in my phone nightly before bed just to vent. I try to call my Mom daily if not every other day to talk to someone other than my humans, my chicken babies and our dog who is absolutely thrilled with all the attention. I didn’t have the intention of posting my ramblings, but I might as well post them here.

March 31st:

Maddie turns 13 today. Today is also the 19th anniversary of my Grandma Barr’s passing. Brayden and I did school work before Payton woke-up. I started to clean our room. It’s such a fucking mess. Wrapping paper, dust bunnies, clothes everywhere. Lord send help. We left to drive-up to see Maddie. I know, shoot us. We left the house. We stopped at Albertsons. Kids got Starbucks and a candy at checkout. Little things to make it seem “normal”. Got on the freeway and there was still a good amount of cars but nothing like the normal northbound I-15 traffic shitstorm. Spent about two hours at my sisters. I brought my parents all the goods I scored yesterday: the holy grail of Costco paper towels, Clorox wipes, Doritos because they were on sale, breakfast sandwiches for my Dad, a few apple fritter donuts to make Dad smile and some other random shit I found while shopping. I setup my Dad’s iPad so my mom can easily FaceTime any of us. She’s so lonely up there. I worry about them. I wish they were down here but then I’d have to listen to Fox News. Oh wait, she informed me today that CNN news reporter, Chris Cuomo, has the rona. My Dad responds with, asshole. My sister’s in-laws were there too. They were all talking about how it’s crazy you can’t get your haircut or nails done. You should see my hair. I wish I was actually making money right before this mess. I wouldn’t have cancelled my hair appt. I haven’t had my hair highlighted since 12/20. We left my sisters and stopped at Raising Canes. Don’t worry, we got extra toast and sauce for Brayden. I got Jim and I Del Taco. Got home to say good nite to my chickens. I binged another Netflix show, “Safe”. Before I get angry ass messages as to why we were all at my sister’s house, it was entirely up to them. My sister is an RN and bro is a sheriff. If we get the rona, then give me a “I told you so”. This was also before Riverside County went on lockdown later in the week.

April 1st:

School was cancelled for the rest of the year and it wasn’t an April Fool’s joke. Today was just a rough day. Screaming, crying, frustrations. Made burgers for dinner and had s’mores off the grill. Kids were happy. Brayden was convinced he was going to stay up until 1 AM for a fortnite thing. He came into bed at 11:55 and fell asleep immediately. Good try, buddy. I started and finished Unorthodox on Netflix tonight. 

April 2nd:

Payton actually wanted to do school work today. We got both kids relatively caught up. I’m over the arguing so after we attempt the work I let them just be kids. I cleaned our room and closet. 3 bags of clothes gone. Those size 27/28 jeans I decided to keep. Who am I kidding though? I’ve gained so much weight I should’ve thrown them away. I took the curtains down, a dingy grey that needed much attention. I opened boxes of items I bought for the staff before school started for the hospitality committee. I cried. We had pork tenderloin and mashed potatoes. I had to run to Walmart for a few items. I’m used to the weirdness in the stores by now. As I walked to our car the stationary police monitoring system in the parking lot had a voice recording. This was new and alarming. It was telling us in almost the same voice as the Matterhorn recording how to keep ourselves safe. Fear ran through my body and I felt like I was inside the Hunger Games. On my way home I stopped at McDonalds to surprise the kids with a McFlurry and added two toys at the window, because why the fuck not? I stayed up way too late again. Finished “The Stranger” and tried falling asleep to Discovery planet. 

April 3rd:

Kids had their first zoom meetings with their class. Both kids were excited to share their doggo and other items. After Brayden’s Zoom he and Tanner FaceTimed for an hour or so. They miss each other so much. We made homemade pasta, prepped chocolate chip cookie dough and began sourdough starter. It was a good day. No fighting. I didn’t get on the kids too much for school work. I just let it be. We ate a yummy meal that was like we were at a nice Italian restaurant. After dinner kids played Fort Nite and Jim worked. I’m alone. Nothing left on Netflix that looks good. I’m just bored and wish I had someone to talk to. Karen found me flour and wants to trade sourdough bread for a succulent coffee tin. So thankful for these interactions. Jim has been working in his office for the last 1+hr. He said he had to send an email. Not writing this to nit pick, just fucking lonely. He lost his team, the company has probably lost 100+ employees by now. Tomorrow will be a better day. I am just down.

April 4th:

We slept in a bit but that’s been the norm. Jim and I ran to Costco to get gas, we paid .6¢ less than we did the week before paying $2.49/gallon. We did a Walmart run for some essentials. Our old neighbors were giving away their trampoline so we went to pick that up from them. It was such a sunny beautiful day then it turned as we were piecing the trampoline together. The kids were so excited to have a new to them trampoline. Ours is seven years old and needed to be replaced. So thankful for neighbors. As the kids jumped I prepped our #frontporchproject photos for five minutes. We argued, kids were pissed that they had to take them. We tried having one of the chickens and that was a disaster. She started scratching Payton and then everyone was even more mad at one another for another one of my crazy ideas. Heaven forbid I want to remember this crazy ass time. You’ll thank me one day. I changed back into sweats and Jim cleaned the pool grids. I went to grab Chipotle. We are trying to use the many restaurant gift cards we got for Christmas at least once per week. Other than that we haven’t been getting food to-go. But I needed that break. I took melatonin and actually fell asleep early. I posted our front porch pictures. I am offering to take them for friends or anyone really. I’ll work on that tomorrow!

April 6th:

We started off breakfast by baking our chocolate chip cookie dough that had been in the fridge for three days. Payton asked, really? I said, why not, there’s no rules right now. I wrapped a few cookies in parchment and grabbed a half dozen eggs to drop off at Karen’s house. I am so happy she was able to secure a 50 pound bag of flour for me. Having friends in high places aka Costco sure does have it’s benefits. After that we cautiously ran through Target to get Easter goodies for the kids. I can feel the eye rolls now. I sent texts to several friends and secured at least 15 families to document next Saturday. The rain started again, FML. Brayden still had a $50 GC to Target so I let him pick out a few board games and we did a drive-up Target order. This was their first time out of the house since Monday. This marks two times in three weeks they’ve left their house. We waited in the parking lot and kids played in the back of the car with the seats down. Oh, and because I am living on the COVID-19 edge we went through McDonald’s and they got a Happy Meal. We watched people, we talked about how things have changed. Headed home and they played games. Teachers just sent the first official week of distance learning plans. Praying it goes well. A little Walking Dead next. Wait…Walking Dead fans, did anything actually just happen? uggghhhh. I have a dumbass question, they take a mid season break. They typically film in the Summer. How are the last few episodes of this season not edited? How do you feel about that preview? hmmm…

I am taking my nightly melatonin so I can maybe sleep. Nevermind. Started watching “Spinning Out” on Netflix. Like “The Cutting Edge” but deals with bipolar disorder. I highly recommend it. I am pissed they release one season and then Netflix cancels. This show needs another season. Just like “Anne with an E”.

Here’s to a good week 4…praying.