real housewives

housewives recap – do they offer a brain lift!? {rhoc}

i apologize that i am just now getting to my computer. it’s been a busy day and i am finally watching rhoc since i fell asleep last night. weigh-in to come tomorrow since i ran out the door this morning without weighing.

heather: brain lift!? f-ing classic. an IQ test, an even better idea. loving you even more.

gretchen: really!? you’re just going to keep fueling the fire by telling slade what vicki’s text says. i know they need drama but it would be nice if they would get off of this for at least one episode and not show slade either.

tamra: so happy she clearly called out the fact that she thinks alexis has a big ‘ole nose. this whole gretchen new friend situation is buggin’ me.

vicki: is clearly on the verge of having a nervous breakdown. glad to see don with brianna, he looks great! and i agree with tamra, vicki is a hypocrite for the brooks child support issue, same thing as dead beat slade.

alexis: holy missing your brain. it’s very clear you are getting a nose job for obvious reasons and gettin’ your panties all in a wad over what they were talking about clearly indicates that you are self-conscious about going under the knife…again! she needs help. like seriously. hmm. white dress looks like a forever 21 look. not knocking f21 because i love it, but “designer” give me a break woman. just stick to smiling and pretending you have talent (and a brain) maybe the tin-man could offer you some advice.

housewives recap – let’s get physical {rhoc}

heather: i am so with heather on the fact that the other women must have lived under a rock to not know who robert palmer was. i mean, hell, i was born in ’82 and i knew right away when they showed her assistant laying her clothes out what she was going as. proving yet again, these women are idiots..but i still love them. she’s still my fav!

gretchen: she totally had her lips filled. i would have kicked slade for what he did, he is such a loser and if they don’t break-up after the shenanigans he pulls then she is just looking for a charity case and drama. she looked cute as madonna, i cannot wait to see how the drama unfolds next week! oh, and when did she become a singer? did i miss something? going to look on itunes now.

tamra: i have to agree with vicki, who’s side is tamra really on? i was really uncomfortable watching as she tried to play it cool when the dude brought up the improv nonsense. you know what vicki is going through, you cannot be friends with everyone but vicki has been by your side and you’re failing as a friend. you embraced your inner olivia newton-john. no way would i wear spandex and a leotard out in public. looking good tamra, keep it up with the trainer of yours.

vicki: ugh. i just want to hug vicki. i know she created all her issues but having to go through brianna’s illness is never easy. i do believe that vicki needs to make it more about brianna and not her feelings. every clip they show with brianna frustrates me because she is the mom and should be supportive and caring vs. this stuff freaks me out, it’s not about me crap. like the preview shows for next week as they are driving. be a loving, caring mom. ditch brooks.

alexis: jesus. seriously crying at a consultation for a nose job? 99.4% of your body is fake and your worried about going under to fix your beak? oy vey. she kills me. i am glad the doctor called her out on it and where was jim? he’s such an ass. i have to add since i forgot to post last week that while at the improv she KILLS me. she has to be a moron for laughing and not understanding the most menial shit. “i just don’t get it”, yeah because you’re a dumb ass. just keep smiling and praying to God.

housewives recap

heather: loved her wine and painting party. i also love that she looks like she is secretly dying inside when she is around all the women. what are you thoughts on her hubby? i think he’s being funny for the show, again, another person who needs a nose job.

gretchen: are you serious with your opening ensemble? i think you stole my two-year-olds hair clip, please give it back. and those boots? ridic. please send them back to zappos immediately. i didn’t like how she didn’t step-up to slade when she told him about brooks. i wonder how he will react when she tells him about the bracelet…

tamra: eddie is seeming a little cray-cray. weren’t you just flirting with vicki? it’s not like she put brooks’ hand on her boob for a long time, it was just to get some attention. give the girl a break…simon #2. did bravo just replace simon with eddie because he’s better looking?

vicki: um, i feel for vicki. it seems like tamra and gretchen are throwing it in her face. i wonder if she knows about brooks’ troubles? i don’t think she should have left don for him. i like don better, and he’s better looking.

alexis: you’re an idiot. you don’t have any questions for the plastic surgeon? have you looked in the mirror? you should have plenty of questions, my dear.

housewives recap – paging dr. booty {rhoc}

it’s that time of year all of us real housewives fans have been waiting for, orange county! i am a fan of all the series’ but this is my fav and makes me think of the first time i watched the marathon of collagen based cat scratches back in ’06 when i was laid up in bed recovering from surgery…fitting right?! these women never cease to disappoint. so here’s my run down on the first episode of season seven. let’s meet the cast.

heather: i think i love her already. like tamra states, she has real money and she has a poise i love. maybe she is from old money because the ladies with new money act a different way and love to flash what they own. we will see how her character evolves over this season.

sarah: not sure how in the heck she scored a spot on this season, she is not an official cast member but she is brought in to stir things up. did you see what she wore to vicki’s? hmm. the way the three musketeers skipped into the party was odd. how old are we ladies?

gretchen: i still go back and forth with gretchen. some episodes i love her, like last season when she threw her parents the 40th anniversary surprise. melts my heart. slade is a loser, move on! i love that they start this season off with tamra and gretchen having drinks, can’t wait to see how slade reacts to the bracelet. maybe she will stop calling him babe so much.

tamra: i love this girl. she is sly, savvy and knows how to work the friendship meter. she is so much better without creepy simon, the drama that we will see as the season unfolds should be interesting. one thing i wish tamra would change is her extensions. she brings the drama, which we all love.

vicki: i am so with tamra that it is a little jerry springer that don is still living at their house. i feel for don, i really do. vicki seems happier but will she stop putting work first? i get that you want everything, but obviously that didn’t work out. did i see it right that her new beau brings drama? oh! and i have to say that brianna needs to figure out a diet plan. i know that seems mean but her chins are getting out of control.

alexis: thank you nose gods! you answered a prayer. she finally gets a nose job. i mean what haven’t you had done that the nose had to be last? maybe her muppet like face will go away…probably not. what the heck is up with my local news station offering her a gig? fox i used to watch you, now, i watch nbc instead. why can’t jim pack their lunches? her marriage and fake money bother me. and c’mon, dr. booty!? you consider that a legit gig?